I have had a very emotional day. It's been the type of day that has gone by so quickly but dragged at the same time. I received a phone call from my boss last night (Sunday) around 9:30pm and she shared with me that a car accident had occurred over the weekend and a 16year-old student had been killed. The other members of the vehicle were all hospitalized with critical injuries. She then asked if I would head down to the small town, south of Sioux Falls and do some crisis or grief intervention for the students on Monday morning.
The drive down this morning was weird. Here I am, a stranger to these kids. A stranger to the boy that died. These kids don't know me....I didn't know this kid. What I learned today though, from these kids is that this young man had a rough life. It was filled with rejection, abandonment, drugs, alcohol, crime and laughter. I ended that sentence with laughter because that is how they described him. He was a smart-ass, a class clown, a guy that made others feel good about themselves, smart...but didn't brag about it, and he was also a friend to those that needed one. The accident involved alcohol, he knew how to party. His friends shared with me his love of having fun...unfortunately at his life's expense.
A pastor was there this morning as well, and in typical pastor form he was able to sum it all up. He said something to the effect of, "What I have learned today and will share with others is that he was a friend."
It touched me and still is, obviously, having an affect on me. It made me think about, well, everything....from my family, to friends, coworkers and myself. I think of the times that this could have happened to many people I love. It's just a moment in time that's gone wrong. It could happen to anyone, that's what is scary. Impaired driving has no prejudice.
I have experienced loss before. People that I love have passed away, but there is definitely something overwhelming about a large room filled with high schoolers missing a friend. I wasn't sure what to say or how to be amongst these strangers. One girl did tell say to me, "you seem nice, funny too. You would have liked him." For a moment I was accepted into this group of grieving students.
I learned from these kids today, not sure if I was of any comfort or solace to any of them, but I know that through them I learned about a tough young man that knew nothing better than to make these choices.
Through the loss of this teddybear of a friend, I hope others will remember to make better choices. Thank you students for teaching me and reminding me to love and laugh each day.
And to my friends and family that come across this, know that you are valued and loved by me and many others. I love you all and God Bless.
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4 comments:
Dear Daughter: Thanks for what you do. I know that you were of comfort to those young people. I thank the good Lord that I have not had to go through such an encounter. You are correct - this could have happened to any number of us, especialy me in one of my former lives. Keep on keeping on.
Love, Dad
This is my second try. My earlier message got lost in the atmosphere somehow. I likely typed the magic word wrong.
I am way behind. There were some days when DSL was on the fitz. I spent time chatting with India for awhile and finally concluded I needed a new modem (3 1/2 years old on the original one). That solved the problem.
I liked this and your Feb 6 entries. I am glad there are people willing and trained to do what you do. Sometime we will have to talk about the summer job I had as an aide on the psych ward (teenagers and then little kids) at the state hospital in Lincoln. I learned a lot that I hadn't planned on that summer.
Love and happy Valentine Day.
Bertie~ you are the best! What a wonderful contribution you make to the lives of others! I am so proud of the job that you do and the way you do it! I love you too!
Erin
I can't think of a better person to handle this difficult situation than you, berta. You have a gift! I love you!
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